Wednesday, November 02, 2005

~*~The Best of ZEN~*~

I just realized that I have now been writing THE ZEN PRETZEL TRICK for more than a year. The time has really flown by!

I didn't know, when I made my
first post, how big a part of my life this blog, and blogging in general, would become. How I would "meet" so many wonderful and interesting people, and be exposed to so many wonderful and interesting blogs. It's been a saving grace for me, in times of pain and insomnia and frustration and just plain need.

And so, to celebrate one year of ZEN, I bring you a comprehensive BEST OF ZEN list. Below, you will see what I judge to be the best posts I have written, followed by a complete list of NUTBAGS, NDN NEWZ articles, TIN GODS, MS/trigeminal neuralgia/chronic pain musings and more.



From September of 2004 until October of 2005, the best of the ZEN PRETZEL TRICK.

100 Best Movie Quotes by the Experts...and 100 More By Me

All that the AFI list left out.

Bob Jones Is Making Me Sick

Comments on a letter from Bob Jones to George W. Bush shortly after the election.

Breast Cancer Awareness

An important issue.

Call It...Pointless!

A harrowing adventure at the DMV.

Coming Down the Coors Mountain

My run-in with Jane's Addiction.

The Curse of King Arthur on Film

Beware! BEWARE!

Drowing in a Sea of Sneeze

Head-cold musings.

Happy Halloween 2004

A true-life ghost story from my past.

Its Good to Be Persecuted: Pharmacist Refuses to Fill Birth Control Pills

But it's bad to be a self-righteous idiot.

The Legend of the Nastiest Scratcher on Earth

The infamous story of the Chicken Man.

Life in My Skin: The Aftermath of Red Lake

My thoughts on the Red Lake tragedy.

The Miamisburg High School Riot Revisited

I didn't start the riot...but I've got the last word here.

My Vacation

Nazis, hillbilly Indian grandfathers and reverse vasectomies...oh, my!

A Note to Television Advertisers

A commentary on bad television commercials.

Nutbags of the Year: 2004

From Omarosa to Dick Chaney...the worst of the worst from 2004.

Oh, the Horrors! Is Your Child a Goth?

Comments on a scare-tactic letter from a church to unsuspecting parents.

Remembering Micah

R.I.P., my friend.

Remebrance, Part One

I wasn't going to include this here originally...but I recently received an email from a new ZPT fan telling me how much she enjoyed this post. So here it is.

The Sad Ironies of Homophobic Parents

And "sad" doesn't even begin to describe them.

Supreme Court to Hear Assisted Suicide Case

My thoughts on this very important issue.

Thanks a Lot, Breakfast Bastards

AKA: How to Lose a Customer in Five Short Months.

ZPT 100 Best Websites of 2004

Links included.


From the beginning, I have perused the Internet for people whose ignorance, lack of compassion and complete disrespect for the human race has earned them the singular title of NUTBAG. Below are my NUTBAG rantings.

As Promised: Nutbag Hassles Secretary Over Four Pounds

Moral of the story: don't spill ketchup on an attorney's suit. He'll bring the full force of the awesome power of the mighty judicial system raining down on your pitiful head!

Congressional Nutbags and Anti-Abortion Bill Alert!

Some nutbags will do whatever they can do circumvent Roe vs. Wade. This article is not unlike another nutbag (before I began using the title), he of the beforementioned "It's Good to be Persecuted" entry.

Dayton Nutbags: Marriage is Protected, Everyone Else Can Kiss Off

And some nutbags, in their zeal to prevent gay marriages, will even make domestic violence victims suffer more.

Find this Nutbag and String Him Up: Child Injured at Hospital

A truly sad, tragic story. This child was failed, in so many ways. (Also, check out my Update on Hospital Baby for more).

More Nutbag Parents: Mom Loses Kid in Toy Machine

There are, unfortunately, many nutbags who insist upon breeding. More in this list to come...

Nutbag Authors: Sexist Men on Parade

Need a man? Stay away from these two.

Nutbag Coach Pays Player to Hit Disabled Teammate

I think the title says it all.

Nutbag Disc Jockey Spews Anti-Native American Rhetoric

Ah, a racist nutbag. The kind of scum your average nutbag scrapes off of the bottom of their shoes.

Nutbag Employers: You're Mine, All the Time?

This is the only nutbag entry in which I received comments and emails disagreeing with me. Well, you can't win 'em all.

Nutbag Extraordinaire: Phelps Bullies Student

Sometimes, just the word "nutbag" alone fails to truly capture what a complete and unrepetant waste of oxygen a person is. Thus, the "nutbag extraordianaire." And Fred Phelps, taking a break from protesting the funerals of homosexuals in order to harass a schoolchild, more than earns the title.

Nutbag Extraordinaire: Teacher's Aide Charged with 96 Counts of Sexual Abuse

There's a place in hell for people like this...and a broomstick in prison.

Nutbag Father "Upset" Over Sentence After Beating Child

Nothing like a man who murders his kid and then whines about having to actually serve jail time for it.

Nutbag Homophobes Strike Again: FDA Proposes to Ban Gay Sperm Donors

But...I thought homophobes kept insisting its not genetic???

Nutbag Judges: Eroding Our Religious Freedoms

Two judges, one mission: to force the "right" religion down your throat, willing or no.

Nutbag Mothers: Nutbags in Real Life

My encounters with two extremely unpleasant women on one long, eventful day.

Nutbag Parents: Clown Car

Look, people...they're kids, not sardines.

Nutbag Parents: Mom Makes Contract for Boyfriend to Rape Daughter

Don't read this on a full stomach.

Nutbag Parents: Toddler Killed So He "Wouldn't Be Gay"

I hope some big, hairy, stinky man named Butch makes this pathetic dirtbag his bitch in prison.

Nutbag Scratcher: Charges Follow Obscene Tattoo

Believe it or not...I didn't notice the whole pun with "nutbag scratcher" until I made this list...oops.

Nutbag Sicko: Man Kills Nesting Swans in Park

There's no words, really, for insane fuckwads like this.

Nutbag "Taunters"

Teasing and killing the mentally ill...nutbags in the extreme.

Nutbag Teacher: Cheater, Cheater

Hey, Teach...eyes on your own paper!

Nutbags Caught On Film: Aw, Isn't That Sweet? NOT!

Must be seen to be believed.

Nutbags in a Theater: Throwing Out Disabled Boy for "Laughing Too Loud"

What a cold, cold-hearted nutbag this is.

Nutbags in the Government: Helping Rapists Get a Stiffy

Viagra for sexual assaulters...your tax dollars at work, folks.

Nutbags in the Morning: "The View" Insults Nursing Mothers

Probably the most popular of my nutbag installments. (Check out my Update: Tom Cruise, "The View" for more).

Nutbags in the Wake of Terri Schiavo: Ignoring Patients' Rights

A bill to let doctors ignore final directives. Shame on these nutbags. (For my idea of a great living will, see this post).

Nutbags with a Double Standard: Schools Forbids Teen Mom to Graduate, But Allows Teen Dad

This made my blood boil. The hypocrisy.

When Nutbags Attack: Nutbag Douses Infant with Pepper Spray

Next on Jerry Springer...

Your Honor, the Nutbag: Judge Stalls Abused Woman's Divorce

Nothing like the court telling you you can't divorce your abusive, scumbag husband. When you read the'll scream. I know I did.

Your Honor, the Nutbag Part II: Speak English or Get Out

Someone needs to tell this dickweed there is no official language in this country. And to take some Valium. STAT.

See also: Nutbags of the Year 2004

///American Indian, Like Me///

So rarely are the issues of Native America brought to the attention of the general public. Below are my NDN NEWZ articles.

GOP Candidate Says Cherokee "Not Real Indians" and Other Nonsense

Running your election on a racist platform...and gee, after it worked out so well for David Duke...

Native News: Chief to Get Justice 150 Years in the Making

And it's about time, too!

NDN Newz: False Organization Warning!

There are way too many of these con artists around...unfortunately.

NDN NEWZ: Hate Crime Shocks Paiute Reservation

And it will shock you, too.

NDN NEWZ: Housing Funds May Go to War Effort

Because we all know it's important to help out the oppressed peoples of an uncaring regime...wait a minute....

NDN NEWZ: Plastic Shaman Indicted

A "plastic shaman" is one of the lowest forms of life. I hope they throw the book at him.

NDN NEWZ: Reservation Life Worse than Iraq

A startling link.

School Shooting: Grieving with the Chippewa

I elaborated more in: Life in My Skin: The Aftermath of Red Lake

So Why Don't You Celebrate Thanksgiving?

The answer to the question I get asked, every single year...

Weird eBay: Spirit Guide in Utero?

I'm still shaking my head over this one.

See also: Nutbag Disc Jockey Spews Anti-Native American Rhetoric

-*-TIN GODS-*-

There are many, many good and capable physicians out there, who care for their patients and do everything they can to keep them healthy and happy. They bear no resemblance to these jerkwads. You can read more about what, exactly, a Tin God is, as well as break-downs of all the Tin Gods below (except Caligula) here: A Directory of Tin Gods (So Far)

Now, on to the individual posts:

The A-Ha! Doctor and the Otherwise Busy Tin God

The Caligula Tin God

Caligula is the only Tin God here bad enough to warrant two follow-up posts: Caligula Strikes Back and Caligula, the Ongoing Saga

The My-Way-Or-The-Highway Doctor

The Pageant Judge Tin God

The Siren

Tin Gods with an Audience: The Celebrity Tin God

The Wannabe Tin God

**MS/Trigeminal Neuralgia/Chronic Pain Entries**

All my writings, musings and complainings about the world of disability, as I see it.

A Letter to People Without Chronic Pain

An MS Adventure: How I Got Started on this Crazy Trip

Canada OKs Marijuana Use for MS

Chronic Pain in Verse

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off to the Dentist I Go

The trouble with dental work and trigeminal neuralgia.

I Am a Doofus

A clumsy MS moment turns chicken soup into second-degree burns. Continued in the post Burn Baby Burn, with a photo that's definately not for the squeamish.

I Hate Pain

It's My Pity Party, I Can Cry If I Want To

So na-na-na-na-boo-boo.

Measure 33

A bill in the last election seeking to re-write Oregon's medical marijuana law...and why I was against it.

MS and Belly Buttons: To Pierce or Not To Pierce?

Pain, Pain Go Away...So I Can Have a Clean House!

Supreme Court Ruling on Medical Marijuana

Trigeminal Neuralgia, or as I Call It: Demon-Spawn

Demon-Spawn is Back: Trigeminal Neuralgia Attacks Again

A detailed explanation of what it feels like to have trigeminal neuralgia.

Unsung Heroes: Hospital Nurses!

Well, This Sucks: MS Attacks My Legs

WTF is the Point of a Flu Shot?

(*)(*)THE QUIZ & MEME LIST(*)(*)

I've done a bunch of these, for fun. Here they are. Links are included for quizzes, so you can do them, too. MEMES are in bold.

The Book MEME Challenge

Literary MEME

Music A-Z

Strictly for Monty Python Fans...

Stroll Down Memory MEME

What Does Your Birth Month Reveal About You?

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

What Movie is Your Love Life Like?

What's Your Hippie Chick Name?

Which 80's Band Are You?

Which American City Are You?

Which "Big Lebowski" Character Are You?

Which Broadway Character Are You?

Which Canadian Province Are You?

Which Celebrity Would You Hook Up With If You Were Drunk?

Which Christmas Movie Are You?

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?

Which Cure Album Are You?

Which Decade is Your Personality Living In?

Which Depeche Mode Album Are You?

Which Elemental Dragon Are You?

Which Happy Bunny Are You?

Which Historic Woman Are You?

Which Horrible Edward Gorey Death Will You Die?

Which Irish Gaelic Phrase Are You?

Which Kind of Freaky Mother Are You?

Which Law & Order: SVU Character Are You?

Which Movie Do You Belong In?

Which Mystical Creature Are You?

Which Peanuts Character Are You?

Which Sexy Cartoon Character Are You?

Which Shitty 80's Hair Band Are You?

Which Tattoo Should You Get?

Which That 70's Show Character Are You?

Which Weight Watchers Recipe Card Are You?

Which Witch?

Which X-Men Are You?

Who Should You Vote For?

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick?


Pictures I have either taken myself or found on the Internet and shared with ZPT fans.

Big Cup...

Burn Baby Burn: Second-Degree Burns on My Hand

Giant Cross

I'm Too Punk For This

Interesting Picture My Father Took in Montana


The Lazy Fairy

My Chalice Well Tattoo

My Cover-Up Tattoo

My Dragon Tattoo

My Miracle Baby Tattoo

My Turtle Tattoo

Oregon Zoo Trip: The Frisky Peacock

Oregon Zoo Trip: The Polar Bear

River Bed

Rob's Skate Park: Local Boy Makes Good

Rob's Skate Park: Another Picture

Tattoo Humor: Funny English Characters


World's Longest Dreadlocks?

I hope you enjoyed THE BEST OF ZEN. I have enjoyed writing it.

Here's to another year, and beyond...


At 8:23 PM, Blogger Angel said...

Happy Blogiversary :) (((((Angel)))))


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