The Email, and My Reply
I received an email a few days ago, which I tweeted about and talked about on Facebook. I hadn't intended to reply to it, but today, I reconsidered.
The email came from someone using the name of a character in a very old movie and a statue of Jesus as an avatar. There are no friends (other than Tom, of course), and the address is something like "tryingtofindproofofalie" or something along that line. WARNING: I have not clicked on any of the links, including the YouTube ones, and don't reccomend anyone else do so, either.
Here is the email, sent to me on Myspace:
To: Zen Angel
"You are of [your] father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own [nature]; for he is a liar, and the father of lies.
and you have not come to know Him, but I know Him; and if I say that I do not know Him, I shall be a liar like you, but I do know Him, and keep His word.
"But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part [will be] in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."
"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."
And Peter [said] to them, "Repent, and let each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
And here was my reply:
I am sorry for any hurt that has come to your life as a result of my father. But taking it out on me isn't going to make you feel any better. I know he hurt a lot of people, but he was still my dad and I loved him. If you open your heart and mind a little past your own hurt, you would surely realize that my childhood could not have been an easy one, and there are people out there who he has hurt perhaps far more than he hurt you.
My father is gone now. Now is the time to remember not the Bible verses about evil, but the ones about forgiveness. Trust me on this, you won't be able to move on until you first forgive. And if you don't forgive, all the Bible verses in the world are meaningless for you. Your heart will still be clouded with hurt and hate...the kind of hurt and hate that leads a person to write unkind emails to the disabled daughter of a recently-dead man.
I hope you get the help you need, and that someday, you can write to me with your real name and not a profile you created to lash out from a deep pain. You might be surprised. But even if I never hear from you again, I hope you someday find peace.
May God bless you and yours.
I meant every word of it. I hope whoever this was really does find some peace, and gets some help. Am I angry? I was, at first. No need to lie. But honestly? I expected comments, I expected backlash, from the moment I knew my father was gone. My whole life, I've had to hear nasty things about my dad, and people telling me (often in great detail), how much they hated him and wished him ill. I'd have to be a blind fool not to realize that he had his enemies and he'd done people wrong. I only had to look at my own mother to know that.
But none of that really matters anymore. He's gone. He was my dad, and I loved him very much. My kids loved him. I have siblings and their kids, who are in pain and in mourning, too. I understand the anger and hurt that could lead someone to send me such an email. What I hope from them, and from anyone else considering it, is for them to try to understand the hurt I am feeling, too.
No one deserved to be hurt by him, or anyone. But by taking it out on me...are you really any better?