Wednesday, February 13, 2008

My Conversation With a Political Fundraiser

(ring, ring)
ME: Hello?
PF: Good morning. Is this Mrs. _______?
ME: Yes, may I ask who is calling?
PF: I am a volunteer with Barack Obama's campaign. Are you familiar with our candidate?
ME: Yes, I am.
PF: And you're registered in the state of Oregon as an independent voter, correct?
ME: Yes, but no fears...I've never voted for a Republican president.
(PF laughs)
(long pause)
PF: As I was saying, I'm with Barack Obama's campaign. Obamna is dedicated to election reform, and as such, does not accept donations from lobbies and so-called "special interest groups." As a result, he depends on contributions from private citizens to fund his campaign to be our nation's next President. How much would you be willing to donate to the election fund?
ME: It is possible that I might be willing to donate in the future...however, I have not decided upon a candidate to support at this time. I never make that determination until after the primaries are completed and a party winner is announced.
PF: Well, it is projected that Obama will win the Democratic primaries...
ME: I am well aware of that. This does not change the fact that he has NOT won them yet.
PF: Are you a supporter of Hillary Clinton?
(I sigh deeply)
ME: I just told you, I'm not a supporter of ANYONE yet.
(long pause)
PF: Barack Obama needs your support, and even if you have not decided upon him yet, could we still count on you for a financial donation at this time?
(longest pause yet)
ME: You didn't really think that would work, did you?
PF: Honestly? No. I didn't.
ME: Good. Have a nice day, ma'am.
PF: You, too.