Saturday, November 19, 2005

Best & Worst TV Couples...According to Zen Angel

I was up the other night in pain and caught a television program about television of the "best" on their list was Gomez and Morticia of "Addams Family" fame. And one of the clips they ran was of Gomez and Morticia smoking from a bong. Eureka! I've been telling people for years that I vividly remember the elder Addamses partaking in a little bonging...but no one believed me. Now, if I can only find a picture of it, I would be vindicated!

And so, on that note, I bring you Zen Angel's Top Ten TV Couples. These are from my preferences only...not what are "the best" (so no Lucy and Ricky here), just the ten I personally love. On with the list, in no particular order:

1) Gomez & Morticia, THE ADDAMS FAMILY.
Is it strange that when I was a child, I wanted to be Morticia? And have a husband who called me "Cara Mia" and went wild when I spoke French? They may have been altogether ooky, but they were also a great romantic couple. Mon sauvage!

Deep down, most women want a man who would fight & die for their honor. Worf was the man, K'Ehleyr's was the honor. Love, Klingon style.

3) Cliff & Clair, THE COSBY SHOW
The older I get, the more I appreciate the kind of love Cliff and Clair represent: two people who love one another more and more as the years go by...and never lose that spark of romance that brought them together in the first place.

4) Eric & Donna, THAT 70's SHOW
I think Eric and Donna represent that wonderful, high school love that sometimes works out...and sometimes doesn't. Small-town boy and the girl next door...a classic combination. Add a "secret circle," and it's a classic 70's combination.

5) Elaine & Puddy, SEINFELD
I was really hoping that they would get married in the final episode---and of course, call the wedding on and off a dozen times before they did. A perfect example of a couple who are made for each other---but aren't ready to admit it just yet.

6) Nancy & John Red Corn, KING OF THE HILL
Some might question my inclusion of Nancy and John Red Corn---after all, Nancy is married to the clueless cuckold Dale, and has had New Age healer John Red Corn over to "cure her migraines" for years on the side. In the end, Nancy gave up the adulteress' life to devote herself fully to her marriage...but KOTH fans like me miss the days when John Red Corn would fall out of Nancy's bedroom window just as Dale was coming home.

7) Thurston & Lovey, GILLIGAN'S ISLAND
Even when stranded on a desert island, Thurston and Lovey remain in love and completely devoted to one another.

8) Leon & Scott, ROSANNE
ROSANNE was never afraid to face controversial issues, and was years ahead of its time with the characters of Leon and Scott. Not only did this loving gay couple get married, they even adopted a child together. You go, guys!

9) Kevin & Winnie, THE WONDER YEARS
Puppy love was never so sweet. I think we can all relate to having a schoolyard crush, and adoring someone so completely...and that's what made this couple work.

10) Mimi & Steve, THE DREW CAREY SHOW
Drag queen meets woman who looks like a drag queen...they fall in love, get married and have a baby named King Gus. It's a fairytale romance. Twisted, but fantastic.

And as long as we're on the topic, let's go the other way and look at my picks for Ten Worst TV Couples:

1) Harry & Christine, NIGHT COURT
Let me get this straight: they love each other, but can't be with each other because she's a defense attorney in his court, and she can't transfer (or accept a promotion to judge) because it will ruin what they don't have. Huh?

Sorry, but a woman marrying her rapist isn't romantic. It's creepy. Just how high was America when they all tuned in to watch this wedding because it was SO SWEET?

3) George & Susan, SEINFELD
She's way too good for him, but HE'S the one balking on marriage? Oh, and she's rich, too, so he could be unemployed and it wouldn't matter? Come on. In real life, George would have married Susan on date two.

4) Mulder & Scully, THE X FILES
I stopped watching after they became romantically involved. Why? Because to me, it ruined the entire premise of the show: two FBI agents, one who believes and one who is a cynic, investigate strange, unusual and top-secret cases. THAT premise is exciting, different, interesting. Two FBI agents, one who believes and one who now sorta believes because she's in love with him and is ignoring the porn collection in his dresser draw while they sometimes chase aliens together....that premise is boring, stale and a little dopey.

5) Jackie & Hyde, THAT 70's SHOW
In the first few seasons of T7S, Hyde hated Jackie. And the feeling was mutual. The two had nothing in common: he's a cynical burner, orphaned by his parents and believing in every conspiracy theory about the government ever written. She's the spoiled rich girl who gleefully plans to get by life on her good looks. He loves Zeppelin, "special brownies" and catfights. She loves unicorns, Donnie Osmond and pretending to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader at the mall. When they got together, he got less abrasive and she got less mouthy. Neither was funny, and the entire relationship was unbelievable from start to finish.

6) Abby & Carter, E.R.
Slightly dorky rich boy with a heart of gold meets whiny divorcee obsessed with her bipolar mom and bipolar brother (who once showed up to ruin Gamma's funeral). The entire relationship played out more like a trip to a therapist's office than a passionate affair: Abby whining endlessly to a solemn, nodding Carter. She rarely even called him by his first name, and responded to his marriage proposal with "You're crazy." Cupid missed his mark here.

7) Joanie & Chachi, JOANIE LOVES CHACHI
It was cute as puppy love...but after the wedding? And on their own show? It was just kind of...pathetic.

8) Brigitte Neilson & Flavor Flav, THE SURREAL LIFE/STRANGE LOVE
It got to the point where if I had to hear that old slag yell "Foofi Foofi!" one more time, I was going to have to go Van Gogh and cut my ears off.

This show unabashedly ushered in an era of hit sitcoms in which the wife somehow didn't notice her husband was an absolute moron until after the wedding...and is intent on making him pay for her shortsightedness. Jill constantly belittles her husband, laughs as her friends call him a "moron" and rarely watches his tv show. Not to mention the fact that she openly hates everything he loves and to top it off, she spends untold hours attempting to make him like the things she loves (ballet, opera, calling a plumber) and getting angry with him when it fails. Not to say that this man is a prize...he's always blowing himself and parts of the house up, he's dumb as a brick and lies more often than an elected official. How they manage to stay married is a mystery to me. Why they manage to stay married is an even bigger mystery. Someone call Matlock...

You just had to feel sorry for mild-mannered, hard-working, sweet ol' Nels Olsen...married to a loud-mouthed, bigotted, overbearing, materialistic shrew like Harriet.

And those are my lists, the 10 Best and the 10 Worst. Agree/Disagree?

Still want more?

Famous Couples: Movies & TV Quiz

Mister Poll: Who are the best television couples?


At 6:05 PM, Anonymous Synesthesia said...

I can think of some even more annoying couples.
Like on King of Queens or on Everybody Loves Raymond. I'd hate to be in a marriage like that to a complete whiny annoying idiot.
But I love the couple on Bernie Mac. They are so loving to each other and are equals. I just can't stand nice guy bitchy woman couples or stupid guy smart woman couples.
And why is it in shows women NEVER like excellent awesome old Mustangs?
Worse though is the couple on Dharma and Greg. I hate that damn show because it's so unrealistic. In reality that couple would never last, they are all about sex and crawling over each other, but not love as Greg often belittled dharma and Dharma had no respect for stuff Greg liked.
*really needs to stop watching television because it really ANNOYS ME.*
And must every show practically quote Mars and Venus?

At 7:58 PM, Blogger Angel said...

Regarding Addams Family, sure it wasn't a water pipe/hookah? Google it, looks like a bong LOL


Post a Comment

<< Home