Thursday, April 13, 2006

Because, Apparently, Some People Need a Law to Tell Them They Shouldn't Copulate with Animals....

My comments are in red:

Lawmakers hope to outlaw bestiality
By Howard Fischer

Spurred into action by a spate of recent incidents, lawmakers hope to take the
first steps today to once again make it illegal to sexually abuse animals in Arizona. Once again? You mean, it was actually illegal once and someone took that OFF the books? WHY? So he could fuck the cat without fear of prosecution?

Rep. John Nelson, R-Litchfield Park, said the lack of any laws took some
people by surprise when a Mesa deputy fire chief was arrested earlier this
month after witnesses said he had been trying to have sex with a neighbor's
sheep. It turned out that Maricopa County sheriff's deputies could charge
Leroy D. Johnson only with disorderly conduct and trespassing. Let me
see if I have this right: the FIRE CHEIF was screwing a
neighbor's sheep? Oh, sorry...he was ATTEMPTING to
screw the neighbor's sheep. Ewwww. Or, ewe?

Nelson wants to persuade the House Committee on Counties,
Municipalities and Military Affairs to make it a felony to have sexual
contact with any nonhuman vertebrate. Violators could face up to a
year in state prison. So it's bad to knock boots with
vertebrates, but fish are fair game? Anyone else picturing
the Troy McClure character from The Simpsons right now?

Nelson's bill would also impose a 2 1/2-year prison term on anyone who
forced someone else to have sex with an animal.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio, saying he was alarmed about the lack of any statutes, demanded that lawmakers fix the problem or he would take the issue
directly to voters. I've got to say, I'm alarmed by the lack of
laws on this as well...but more so by two things: 1) there was apparently a law and someone decided, hey, it's okay to fuck sheep. Take the law off the books! 2) People really, honestly, sadly, pathetically do need a law in place to tell them not to
have intercourse with livestock. It's a sad world
we live in, truly.

Besides the sheep incident, police report two dogs have been
victimized recently.

A missing 8-pound poodle was found this past weekend after it had been sodomized, Phoenix police said. And police in Southern Arizona
seized a greyhound mix near Three Points, saying it had been both
physically and sexually abused. Holy cow. What kind of sick, screwed up, poor excuse for a multi-celled organism rapes a POODLE?!?!?!? Can you imagine the response of other inmates, should this guy get caught and sent to prison?
"Yeah, boys, this one's the Poodle Pounder!"

[Nelson] said Arizona appears to be in the minority of states that
does not make sex with animals a crime.

"That doesn't necessarily mean we're wrong," Nelson said. "But why
shouldn't we be in line with everybody else if the rest of the nation thinks it's a problem?" I don't think this is a question of "what the rest
of the nation thinks." I think this is a question of, hmmm,
how should I put should never have sex with any
living being incapable of giving consent. And just
because the dog licks your face or humps your leg does
NOT mean he's giving consent, you sick weirdos.


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