Can't Sleep, or Danell Lewis, Where Are You?

Yes, dear bloggies, I DO realize that this is my third post today (one was a quiz, though...so does it really count?). I'm having a hard time with my MS lately, and I can't sleep. When I do sleep, I'm plauged by nightmares, so when I wake up...I don't feel like I've slept at all. I HATE when I go through these phases of pain and insomnia. It's maddening. The new med I'm on, Tegretol, is at least keeping my jaw from locking shut from the trigeminal neuralgia. It was helping me sleep...until this latest attack of insomnia. Now, it's 3 in the morning...the baby will be up in four hours and I'm nowhere near unconsciousness. Did I mention I hate insomnia?

This bout has, like so many other bouts in the past, made me think of my former best friend, Danell Lewis. Danell and I went to junior high together at ol' Van Buren. We lost contact in May 1990. The last I heard was a rumor that she was moving to Jacksonville, Florida. I have no idea if that was true or not. I was in Jacksonville in January of 1994, and I searched for her in the phone books there. No luck. I've searched for her online for years---also, no luck. I even hired an agency at one point...they were unable to find her. She could be married now, with a new last name. She could have children (she always wanted them). Or she could be dead. I don't know. We went through a lot together---some of which I can't even share here, dear bloggies. My father even considered adopting her at one point (whether or not he was serious is another debate). I do know that I think of her often. I have only one photograph of her...from a slumber party in 1989. Does she still have those brunette locks? Or those freckles on her nose? Does she think about me at all? Does she even remember me?

Danell, if you ever read this...life turned out okay for me after all. I'm married to a wonderful man, and I have three great kids. I live in a beautiful city.

If you want to contact me...please do. I miss you. You were more like a sister to me than a friend...I know you know that. And my father divorced my stepmonster...so you have nothing to fear from that quarter. If you don't want to contact me...I understand. Some things, perhaps, are best left in the past.

I hope you have a great life. I hope you have all the happiness you deserve. And I thank you, for being there for me during the darkest time in my life. I will always think of you with kindness and with love.

"I will remember you, will you remember me?"---Sarah MacLachlan