Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Checking In

I've gotten a lot of emails and comments since I posted "What Condition My Condition Is In." I wanted to take a moment to say thank you to everyone. I appreciate your support more than you could ever know.

I threw my pity party, ate way too much chocolate ice cream, and I'm well on the way to acceptance. I'm surprised, quite frankly, at how hard I've taken it. I mean, I always knew it was a possibility, and Jonathan and I have talked about it before. But for some reason, when it happened, I was completely shocked. I know it doesn't make any sense. Perhaps adults retain a tiny bit of that "it won't happen to ME" complex common to teenagers. You know it can happen, you know it might happen...but some part of you is in denial that it will ever happen to you.

I see my doctor in a few days, to discuss this and my treatment options as they stand now. And at least my decision to not take the CRAB drugs is likely to be respected now; they are indicated only for people with R&R MS. I know some people with progressive forms ARE taking it...but that's an "off-label" use. And honestly, I don't want to get into the CRAB drug debate right now....

I'm not upset anymore, so much as I am....I don't know. Grieving. That's not right, but probably the closest word I have to what is going on with me right now.

Anyway, thank you, all, for being there to read my vents and listen to my nonsense. It helps, somehow. And I will take help where I can get it.



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