Random Thoughts

***"Fatigue" sounds like such a....benign word. It doesn't quite fit the mind-numbing, will-crushing exhaustion you get from MS, and which I am battling (not too successfully) now. It's also weird, to have days of fatigue, and then go through nights of insomnia. It's as if my body really wants to have a sleep disorder, but it just can't commit.

***For the first time since junior high, I can't get worked up over a presidental election. I don't know if it's the beforementioned fatigue, or it's just a growing cynicism (due, in part, to a president being "selected" rather than elected not too long ago), or what have you. I just can't get excited over any of the candidates. Maybe once the race is in full swing, with candidates nominated and vice-presidential hopefulls named, I'll get more in the spirit of things.

***My cat is lonely. That's the vet's verdict: the cat was used to being in a multicat household, and that's why he whines at night after we've all hit the hay and won't stop until someone gets up and pets him for a while. So, we've begun the process of getting an additional cat. Which, for us, means scoping out the Humane Society's website for a few weeks, making a list of feline contenders, and then heading out waaaaaaaaay across town to the shelter. We've never had more than one cat at a time. My mother always had multiple cats, and my godmother...well, let's say she has a lot of cats. And by "a lot," I mean somewhere around thirty or so. No, I'm not kidding. I have no desire to have a house full of cats like that, but I also would rather not have the cat mewing all night, waking the kids, either. The things I'll do for my cat's emotional wellbeing...

***I have a doctor's appointment next Tuesday, and I've made a decision. I am tired of every month, having these huge, ridiculous prescription calamities. Last month's was the worst. I am supposed to get my pain pills on the first of the month. I didn't get them until almost the FIFTEENTH. Which may be why I'm having sleep issues. Anyhoo, on to my decision: I'm asking for a referral to the pain clinic. I like Dr. Fetus, and under his care I've had a better track record with the pain than I have in nearly 12 years of MS. I was not in the hospital even one time for entire YEAR, thanks to him. And for me, that is damn close to a miracle. But the only way to continue to keep my pain under control is by taking my meds regularly and having meds for pain breakthroughs. That isn't happening, and it's getting worse all the time. I think it's time to cope with the specialists in the matter. I'm also interested in trying subdermal patches, which I have read a great deal about. The only ones who'll do that are the pain clinic. So hi ho, hi ho, it's off to the pain clinic I go...

***I recently discovered that Dr. Pepper, in conservative amounts, actually seems to help with my nausea. Who knew?

***Jonathan and I have become addicted to two new shows. One we expected to like (BBC's "The Restaurant"), and the other? It's weird. I never would've thought I'd like this particular show, but I not only like it, I'm text-messaging votes in every week. No, I'm not talking about "American Idol," (which, thanks to having an 11-year-old daughter, I already know far too much about...she's a fan of Amanda, who she never refers to by name, instead always calling her "the rock-and-roll nurse"). Nope, it's not "American Idol," but it does share something in common with it: Randy Jackson. Yes, we've been watching MTV's "Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew." And yes, I know how bizarre that sounds. We don't like hip-hop (I'd never even heard of L'il Mama, one of the judges, before the show's premiere). We've never seen any of the so-called "battle dance" movies, nor do we want to. And the last time I saw any breakdancing, I was at a community center dance in 1985, baby-sitting my sister and watching the high-school kids with their red-leather Michael Jackson jackets do the worm to "The Freaks Come Out At Night." I'm at a loss to explain why we enjoy this show. We just do. I'm rooting for Kaba Modern, while Jonathan is a Jabberwakeez fan. All I can say about this is, life is weird and unpredictable, and so am I....

***I saw the video yesterday for the Oscar-winning song, "Falling Softly," from the movie "Once." I haven't seen the movie, but I want to. The song is so haunting and lovely. I must get that soundtrack...

***And finally: I had to change the message on my voice-mail the other day. It now says, "Hi, we're not available to take your call. Please leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. And please keep in mind: this is voice mail. This is NOT an answering machine. We CANNOT hear you while you leave a message. Thank you." Now, you'd think that this went without saying. Sadly, no. I made the change because five times in one day, from five DIFFERENT people (including two who have been to my home and KNOW I don't have an answering machine), I got messages that began with, "Hello? Angel? Jonthan? Can you pick up the phone? HELLO!" Now, I do realize that many people still use answering machines. But COME ON. Isn't the assumption these days that you are speaking to voice mail?

I hope everyone (especially those out East) is keeping nice and warm. Adieu for now.

---Angel