Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off to the Dentist I Go (Again)

I am dreading tomorrow. Yet another dental appointment. Eek gads, I will be so very glad when all of this dental work is over.

The problem, of course, is the trigeminal neuralgia. Guess what is the number one most likely thing to aggrivate it? Yep...dental work.

I have an unfortunate condition those of us in the NA community call "reservation mouth" or "rez rot." Basically, my teeth are rotting out due to toxic waste in my reservation's water. Every time I read some idiot on a message board telling us to "get over it, it all happened hundreds of years ago," I want to send them my dental bills. I'm 31 years old, and by the time all this is over, I will have full dentures. I have already lost nearly all of my teeth. Centuries ago, my ass.

The teeth themselves don't hurt, a curious side-effect of rez rot. I can have whole teeth fall out with no pain at all. But the dental work? It's leaving me in a state of utter misery.

Fortunately, my oral surgeon is a wonderful dentist. When I first came to her, literally shaking in fear as the X-rays alone had sent me into near-incapicitating pain, she was kind and gentle. She understood my condition, and made it clear she would do everything she could to make this as painless as possible. She also didn't bullshit me, which I appreciate. I hate, hate, HATE it when doctors bullshit you. They'll tell you something doesn't hurt that they damn well know is going to hurt like fucking hell, out of some misguided belief that liars relax people. Maybe some folks are like that, I don't know. I'm not one of them. I'd rather know, so I can prepare as best I can to cope with it.

Luckily, my dentist was as up-front with me as I prefer. She told me that I'll have ot be sedated for all the work...not for my comfort, as pretty much nothing will keep my neuralgia from acting up in the aftermath, but to prevent the neuralgia from locking my jaw shut and thus making it necessary to have yet another appointment for even more work, which in the end will cause even more pain. She also told me that if my pain meds aren't working, ask for more. A simple concept, I know, but one that is utterly beyond most doctors. So many of them seem to take your needing stronger relief as a personal insult to their mightly skills. After all, they didn't anticipate you needing anything stronger, so why do you? Morons.

Despite the great doctor and the promise of appropriate pain management...I'm still scared. I always am. I know that the common belief is that a person like me is supposed to be brave in the face of pain and suffer in silence and all that ridiculous apecrap, but that's not for me. It seems deceitful, to pretend to not be afraid of pain. Pain hurts.

So, if I'm not around in the next few days, that's why. Wish me luck...