Rot In Hell, Banner Bastard

A friend of mine on a message board ran across this banner while accessing Livejournal:

Sick Banner

I cannot tell you how absolutely sick to my fucking stomach this makes me.

I am not saying that false allegations never happen---I know quite well that they do. When I was 18, an ex-boyfriend of mine (with whom I had remained friends) was accused of rape. Not only rape, but rape of a 15-year-old girl...a serious, serious charge. I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that he was innocent, and testified on his behalf. He was acquited, after the girl in question changed her story no less than six times, lied on the stand, failed a polygraph and finally admitted that she'd made the whole story up so she would not get into trouble for coming home late one night after a party.

My friend's life was shattered by these accusations. He lost friends. He lost his job, as he was on house arrest for nearly four months. He lost his car, as he couldn't pay the car payments or insurance while on house arrest. He had to move back in with his mother. And worse, his reputation was destroyed. To this day, there are people who question his innocence. He has held up remarkably well, and has my admiration for it...but it never should have happened. I partially blame the girl, for telling the lies...but I also blame the police and prosecutors, who continued to investigate and prosecute this case long after it was clear to everyone that the girl was not telling the truth (in one version of her story, he had a knife; in another, he threatened her with a broken bottle. She also got the dates off---by more than a month---several times). The true damage, in my opinion, is that every time a woman makes up charges, and lies, it makes it that much harder for a woman telling the truth to be believed. And that's just plain wrong.

As I said, I know false allegations happen. But to claim what this banner claims...that so many women/girls lie about sexual abuse, that women INSTIGATE date rape and use alcohol to do so...that is just SICKENING.

I say this, not only as a friend of a person who was falsely accused...but as a sexual abuse survivor myself. I've been on both sides of the courtroom: as a witness for the defense, and as an accuser for the prosecution. I think I know this topic fairly well...unfortunately.

To the creator of this banner: rot in hell, bastard. You have NO IDEA what it is like to be the victim of sexual abuse, what it does to a girl/woman, how it completely fucks up your life in so many ways. The nightmares. The shame. The fear.

If you've been falsely accused, I feel for you. I really do. But having watched what my friend went through, and having gone through actual sexual abuse myself...let me tell you, I know which one is worse. And it's not being falsely accused, I can tell you that fucking much.

Rot in hell, banner bastard. Rot in hell.